Chapter 6

"Took them a while to wind down, huh?" I closed my book and put it on the table next to the bed as Jeff appeared in the doorway.

"We had to read another chapter of David Copperfield," he said.  "Jake was really fighting drifting off."

"They needed some daddy time after a steady diet of Mom and Grandpa for the past two weeks."

Jeff sat down on his side of the bed.  "I missed you guys.  I think that was the longest two weeks of my life.  No wife, no kids, no meatloaf.  No dessert."  He pulled his t-shirt over his head and tossed it into the chair.

"You poor thing - most men would have loved the vacation."  I laughed and turned on my side to face him.  "Think of all the unpacking you avoided."

"Well, there is that.  And I didn't have to drive from Virginia to Alabama in an SUV with two kids, four dogs and a cat.  Speaking of cat, where is the old dustmop?  I haven't seen him since I got home."

"When the movers arrived, Pop corralled him in the carriage house so he wouldn't run out of the open doors.  Apparently he's decided that he likes having your father for a roommate.  They may have adopted each other permanently."

"We'll see how that works out; nothing much is permanent with my dad," Jeff replied.  "Except maybe the way he likes to move around."

"He was a big help with the unpacking and the kids.  Maybe he'll stick around for a while.  I know Jake would love it; they're quite the pair.  He's been promising to take Jake fishing - and I think they've both been waiting for you to get here.  They've invited Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Rob to come along, but I can't see that happening."

"Jimmy maybe, but Rob -no.  But that is something I'd pay good money to see."  Jeff laughed.

"Aunt Rob baiting a hook?  Or even touching a fish.  Not in this lifetime."  I smiled at the thought.  "We'll make the picnic lunch while you all fish."

"Speaking of fishing, are you going to fill me in on your expedition this afternoon?"

"Oh, I'm sure I didn't find out anything you didn't already know or suspect.  You're a lot more perceptive about people that I am.  I should just learn to observe instead of asking questions."  I reached over and took Jeff's hand.  "I ended up hearing a bunch of stuff that surprised me, things that were disappointing and revelations that really just grossed me out."

"You, observant?" he laughed. "That's not how your mind works.  It's your nature to ask questions and figure out the truth for yourself.  And let's face it, honey, people do some weird stuff and then try to rationalize their behavior.  You still think of this town as the insulated little world you were raised in - but times and people change.  But you, my darlin' girl, are almost exactly the same as you were when we were kids: sweet, funny, kind and you wouldn't intentionally hurt a soul.  But for some reason, which I've never understood for somebody so damned smart, you expect people to actually treat other people with kindness because it's what you do. I hate to see you surprised and disappointed when they don't, but there's nothing I can do about it."  Jeff turned to face me.

"Well, I don't think we've heard the last of the Jerry Maguire story," I said, looking away from him.  "He is something of a ladies man and always has been, it would seem.  Remember when we were in high school and he had that accident that crippled him?"

"Yeah.  The truck backed into him at the packing plant."

"There's some speculation that it wasn't an accident.  I guess his wife thought it was the most expeditious way to, uh, neuter him."  I'm pretty sure I was blushing.

Jeff let out with a howl of laughter.  "A divorce would have been too expensive, I guess."

"I remember Aunt Rob telling a story, years and years ago, about how Millie had found out about an apartment in Mobile that Jerry had bought without her knowledge.  I guess the business actually owned it.  Well, she started following him and caught Jerry going into his little love nest with some bimbo half his age.  Millie was so enraged that the next week she followed them and set the place on fire with them inside."

"So what happened?"  Jeff was curious now.

"Nothing.  Millie came from old money and the fire was ruled accidental by her daddy's good friend the fire marshal.  Not long after, there was the incident with the truck.  I never really connected the two until Billie Jo was telling me today that Millie's elaborate neutering plan didn't work anyway."

"The truck about crushed the man to death," Jeff said, incredulously.  "He's about a foot shorter than he used to be and honestly, babe, I can't imagine that he has any real motor function anywhere below the waist anymore."

I could feel my face burning.  "I guess Jerry has a, a..." I was searching for the right word.  Oh, what is the matter with me, I thought - this is my husband I'm talking to.  "He has a prosthetic device that..."

"You have got to be kidding me," Jeff said.  "I don't even want to know how BJ knows that."

"At any rate, his philandering continued right up until the day Millie passed.  I guess Jerry has some proof that Millie was behind the alleged truck accident and she agreed not to divorce him and to let him have his dalliances.  And since he's been a free man, so to speak, Jerry has been dallying" - Jeff started to snicker at this point - "with more than his share of ladies around town, married, single and widowed."  I finished.

The snickering had turned into full scale laughter.  

"Billie Jo said that his company is well, sought after,"  I added.

Jeff's laughter had morphed into a severe case of the giggles.  I guess it really was a funny mental image - even though I couldn't for the life of me imagine how this alleged device might actually work.  I must have looked puzzled because Jeff said, "Think inflatable," and burst out laughing again.  He always seems to know what I'm thinking and I'm pretty sure that he was laughing at me now.

"It's not funny," I said and smacked him on the arm.

"Yes, it is.  The look on your face was priceless - you were mentally reverse engineering how the thing might work."  He was still grinning.

"But, Jeff,  that's not even the most interesting part," I said.  "I think I discovered a clue that pertains to Millie's unceremoniously exhumed body."

Jeff was suddenly serious.  "And what is that?"

"The shoes.  Remember Aunt Rob said that they were Tory Burch shoes?  Well, that's what Jerry buys his lady friends when he's ready to dump them.  Ruinously expensive designer shoes.  The last four ladies have each gotten a pair of Tory Burch shoes as their parting gift from the old lech."

"But Millie was rich - maybe they were her designer shoes."  Jeff was still processing the information.

"They don't normally bury people with their shoes on.  Remember I tried to make them put shoes on Daddy when he passed and they wouldn't let me?  And besides, Millie died two years ago."

"So this designer didn't make shoes two years ago?"  Jeff's knowledge of fashion runs to work boots and Levi's 501 button-fly jeans.

"Sure, but Aunt Rob said the body was wearing leopard print flats from last spring's collection.  Those couldn't have been Millie's shoes."  I smiled at the well-I'll-be-damned look on Jeff's face.

"Not bad, Miss Marple."  He pulled me closer and kissed me.  "But can we talk about something besides Jerry's alleged amorous exploits and dead women in designer shoes?"

"It's just that it might be an important clue to figuring out who dug Millie up and why."

"And I will definitely make a note in the file.  As soon as I get to work tomorrow."  Jeff kissed me again.

"You won't forget?" I asked.  "I'll remind you in the morning."

"Babe, you're killing me," Jeff said.  "Here I am hoping for a proper welcome home and you're still talking."

"As I recall, I welcomed you home quite enthusiastically on Saturday night after the kids were asleep."

"You did?" he replied, "it's been so long I can't remember."

"Jeff, it's only Monday."

"Shut up and kiss me."

What can I say?  I do as I'm told.